Saturday, July 18, 2009

Too Bad He Didn't Have the Holy Hand Grenade....


After the 1807 Peace of Tilsit, Napoleon decided to relax by having a hunting party for the court and, to that end, asking his scarily efficient chief-of-staff, Alexandre Berthier, to organize a rabbit hunt.

Berthier, in charge of one of the most organized and effective armies in Europe, attacked this request with his usual foresight and planning, even bringing in hundreds of rabbits should nature prove so monstrously disobliging as to fail to uphold its end, hunting-wise.

Unfortunately, Berthier proved to be too good at making the rabbit hunt entertaining. As soon as the Emperor arrived, the keepers released the rabbits and the lepine horde rushed straight at Napoleon. The freaked-our generals of the court immediately formed a skirmish line to protect the Emperor, but the rabbits somehow had a better grasp of Napoleonic strategy than Napoleon's generals and, dividing into two wings, poured around the flanks of the skirmish line.


Napoleon had to run for his carriage, but the rabbits pursued and the Emperor had to physically toss rabbits out of the imperial coach. Rabbits apparently kept flying out of the windows as the coach drove off.

Later on, Berthier discovered that he had accidentally bought a horde of domesticated rabbits who assumed the gentleman walking towards them was their feeder, not the Emperor of France and the Conqueror of Europe.

4 comments:

  1. Oh gods this had me in hysterics! Killer bunnies! Too funny :D

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  2. Napoleon might have thought twice about rabbits if he'd come from Australia!

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  3. Hee, glad you enjoyed!

    Viola, eh? The Amateur Historian is, alas, American and has not heard of any killer rabbits from Australia, unless kangaroos count somehow.

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  4. I think she means the plagues of rabbits that have spread about the place - they were introduced and a wreaking havoc with all the natural wildlife and farms. The state I live in has even outlawed keeping them as pets in case any escapees breed.

    http://users.rcn.com/jkimball.ma.ultranet/BiologyPages/A/AustralianRabbits.jpg looks like a screencap from a horror film to me :D

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