Gentle Readers, are you having difficulty telling who is who in War and Peace, for those of you who are brave enough to attempt reading this monolith? Be not afraid, the Amateur Historian has a helpful schema for you!
1. Does this character speak French?
THEN THEY'RE BAD AND INSINCERE AND YOU SHOULD HATE THEM.
2. Does this character speak Russian?
Then they're good!
3. Is this character French?
THEN THEY'RE BAD AND INSINCERE AND YOU SHOULD HATE THEM.
4. Is this character associated with the countryside?
Then they're good!
5. Is this character associated with the city?
THEN THEY ARE BAD AND INSINCERE AND YOU SHOULD HATE THEM.
6. Is this character a young woman?
Then they will marry, retire to the countryside, and lose every character trait that made them interesting.
7. Do you like this character?
Too bad, because they're going to DIE.
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Ha! I absolutely loved War and Peace until I got to that horrible epilogue and read what Tolstoy did with Natasha's character. And then I temporarily wanted to throw copies of the book at Tolstoy's grave...until I decided to pretend the epilogue isn't part of the story and so never actually happened.
ReplyDeleteI plodded through the book in hopes of more blue skies over battlefields, but I was enraged at Natasha's incredibly dumb character arc. Why yes, a woman's redemption should always be forsaking her individuality and turning into her husband! NO. BAD MOVE TOLSTOY.
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